Escape (v) - Succeed in avoiding or eluding something unpleasant or undesirable

Today alone I've killed Robert an infinite number of times in an equally infinite number of ways. I need more than anything to find a way out of my own mind, to quiet it for an hour or too so that no one dies in any way whether it's hilarious or heart wrenching. For the record most of today's were hilarious, sorry dude. My only chances to escape from myself are through books. For some reason I find that through the pages I can live someone else's life and ignore my own for at least a few short moments. That's why I have a book with me at all times. It's much better that I have an instant way out of my own skin than cause the suffering of someone close to me, no matter how much I truly do want them to suffer. Today was miserable at best, I was angry, annoyed, in pain, and playing reruns of my favorite death scenes all of my hours awake. I think I need some more serious help, because I've already got some, but I don't think it's enough.

On yet another note I am excited about starting school and giving myself yet another thing to focus on. With school, soccer, work and the humane society every week I feel I will be busy enough to ignore my hatred for some certain people and move on, a little, with my life. In exactly one week from now, I can guarantee, I will be sick of the lifestyle I've chosen and back to my people hating self. Good news? There's always a skip out on the real world and a couple days in the happiest place on earth, which so happens to be the only place I can be truly happy these days. For that I'm sorry.